Productive Relationships by Yager Jan

Author:Yager, Jan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc.
Published: 2011-04-13T04:00:00+00:00

There are as many reasons to send a card or give a token gift as there are cautionary tales about why gift giving can backfire. I remember when I stayed at a home in Bombay, India for a couple of days when I was doing research for my first book. In America, it is customary to bring a gift to someone’s home when you are a guest. But when I was leaving my hostess’ home on the last day of my visit in Bombay, instead I was given several token gifts as a way of thanking me for honoring them by being their guest. A very different custom than what I was used to, and I cherished those gifts as well as the sentiment.

When you cannot give a gift because there are rules against accepting a gift, which could lead to accusations of influence peddling—whether for a government agency or a specific company with rules against accepting gifts of any value, however small—consider sending a thoughtful greeting card instead.

But if a gift is permissible, especially a token gift with a value of $25 or less, consider sending a gift at the holidays or for a special anniversary, such as to someone who you know has been working for a certain number of years at a company, or for achieving something special, such as landing an especially big deal (but not with you or your company which could be misconstrued). If you are unsure about what the rules are at your company about gift giving or receiving, or the economic limits that are recommended, check with your human resource department; if you do not have one, you could ask your co-workers or your supervisor for guidance. Some companies have a limit of $50 to $100 for gifts to those at an executive level. Some companies who exchange gifts among themselves at the holidays suggest keeping the price of the gift as low as $10 or less.

Sending a gift can be a gesture that is positive and sincere and one that has numerous emotional and strategic benefits. But it can sometimes backfire as well. Augusta Nash shared with me about a boss who liked to give her gifts and how embarrassed it made her feel. Says Nash: “I had a boss for five years who showered me with gifts and I always felt uncomfortable because I didn’t know what she wanted from it. She gave me a vacuum cleaner. She gave me frequent flyers miles. She sent food over all the time. She gave me little things. She let me borrow her car and she had a very expensive car. It was way overboard and it was all the time. Did I have to work harder? Did I have to be her best friend? What was she buying?”

Nash explains that the situation got worse as the excessive gift giving led to unrealistic expectations about their work relationship: “She wanted to come over to my house when I was having a pot luck dinner with my peers, my colleagues.

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